© 2018 by Clare Vernon FCCA Dip ION FdSc mBANT

  • Clare Vernon

Better Out Than In.....Always

Sometimes the fear of something happening is far more crippling than facing the reality that finally lands upon us. At times of challenge we learn valuable lessons about ourselves and are often given the opportunity to build our resilience and find a strength we would otherwise not have known.

Handling our emotions is a learned skill; by increasing our self awareness, watching out for emotions as they arise and sharing them with others we can often help them to pass more quickly gaining greater clarity in the process.

Observing their arrival, labelling the associated emotions/feelings and sitting with their presence can enable them to be more fully expressed and consequently their physical impact upon us also passes more quickly. Suppressing or fighting our emotions only serves to constrain them and perpetuate their effect on our physical body.

That's one of the reasons I have taught my daughter to feel comfortable expressing her upset and anger as much as sharing all of her excitement and intrigue with us. Holding on to anger builds resentment and the risk of emotions building up into a future explosion that no-one wants to see. Letting our feelings out at the first sign of irritation by talking about them can help the moment not only to pass, but also be acted upon by others or maybe even resolved.

Equally, when excitement is building (especially in children) there is often not enough room to hold and manage other, less agreeable, emotions. Feeling able to express their excitement and anticipation and sharing it with us can reduce the potential for them to experience emotional overwhelm in other areas of their lives. And that goes for us adults too!

In summary, introspection is a valuable attribute but too much introspection can be dangerous, especially when it has no outlet; which leads us to one of my favourite quotes : “Better out than in....always”.